Your mother has a big role in your self confidence
April 16, 2017, Sunday morning, another day of waking up with the yelling and shouting of my mother at so many random things and some comments for me. But today, I don’t want to let these words effect the confidence I want to carry for the rest of the day. So I thought, let’s give it a perspective. A perspective that can help me filter out the words that are not important.
Let’s start from the beginning
You are born and now a part of this world. Your mother is the one who feeds you, who takes care of you, while you are still slowly and slowly getting that sense of existence. As you grow, you recognize the feeling that you exist, you are now more aware of your surroundings and can think about things that are around you. You can now understand who your mother is, who your other family members, relatives, friends, and other humans, animals and so on, are. As the days pass, you learn more about life and living, you are sharing all of your feelings, emotions, thoughts, curiosity, stupidity and what not with you mother, especially if your mother is a homemaker.
School Days
It’s time to get into society and interact with more people. As you start going to school you start making new friends and this time, in your own age group. As you start making more friends and spending more time out of your house your mother is less aware of you actions throughout the day.
The Outside Parts of You
She can still see you as her kid, but she is not able to see that side of you, which is outside of the house. She now only sees that side of you by your stories and words from your friends and teachers. As time goes on your stories are no more innocent to be shared with your mother, so you stop sharing. Now she is having less interactions about you as well, as you have grown up and she is not picking you up from school everyday. You are engrossed in home works or tuitions, watching TV, playing games and doing so many things that she is not able to find time to ask you about your day. She trusts you, she loves you, and for her you are still the same kid you were at the first day of school. In her circle, she is hearing more about other kids, so she starts paying attention to other kids, just to make sure that they are not ahead of you.
Comparison with Sharma ji’s kid
If you don’t wake up early, Sharma ji’s kid is already out playing in front of your house. Comparison to that Sharma ji’s kid is the most annoying thing that might you have been hearing throughout your teens (you know who that Sharma ji is in your life). S/he just seem to be the best kid that your mother knows about but you know you are more awesome than him. If you think about it, she is not trying to discourage you, maybe the way she is saying might seem like she hates you, but you are team. And for someone else maybe you are that Sharma ji’s kid 😜.
You are a Team
You are a team and she is trying to motivate you in her own innocent unawareness, she wants her team to be the best. You are the only player who can do something for the team to win and stay ahead. She doesn’t have dreams that can help the team win, so she sees those dreams through you. She is doing so many things in day from cleaning your clothes to cooking food for you, in her unconscious she knows she is living for you and she is not chasing her dreams, but enabling you to chase yours. You are not only the key to her success but you are her success. You can be the one who is changing the world, but for her, you are still that kid who needs her, as it’s your first day at school.
She only has power over you, because you were created in her and in all that frustration of everyday, you are her channel where she can direct everything. You might want to change it, but you now know she needs you more. You just need a filter that can help you listen to important things and focus on the right things. Don’t look for your identity in her words but look for your identity in her heart or within yourself. You are a part of her and if you try you can understand what she wants…
